Welcome, Guest. Please Login or Register
beyond belief where truth is stranger than fiction
  News:
  Home Video plus HelpLoginRegisterSearch  
 
Pages: 1
Send Topic Print
The Ballad of Irving - 142 Fastest Gun in the West (Read 5128 times)
toeg
Topic Starter Topic Starter
Global Moderator
*****
Offline

Be not simply good -
be good for
something.


Posts: 6971



Gender: male
Show the link to this post The Ballad of Irving - 142 Fastest Gun in the West
Jan 17th, 2008, 7:50am
 


This brings back memories. We had a radio DJ named Dr. Demento who would play the most outrageous tunes he could find every Friday or Saturday night. This is one of the classics that'll never die.

http://eightysixfourhundred.vox.com/library/audio/6a00c2251d92a98fdb00e398abd487...

lyrics:

He was short and fat, and rode out of the West
With a Mogen David on his silver vest.
He was mean and nasty right clear through,
Which was kinda weird, 'cause he was yellow too.

They called him Irving.
Big Irving.
Big, short Irving.
Big, short, fat Irving.
The hundred and forty-second fastest gun in the West.

He came from the old Bar Mitzvah spread,
With a 10-gallon yarmulke on his head.* [see below]
He always followed his mother's wishes,
Even on the range he used two sets of dishes.

Irving.
Big, fat Irving.
Big sissy Irving.
The hundred and forty-second fastest gun in the West.

A hundred and forty-one could draw faster than he,
But Irving was looking for one forty-three.
Walked into Sol's Saloon like a man insane,
And ordered three fingers of two cents plain.

Irving.
Big, fat Irving.
Big sport Irving.
The hundred and forty-second fastest gun in the West.
----------------
[The following lines were edited out of the original release, and are only in
the version available on Dr. Demento's 20th Anniversary Collection.]

One day Bad Max happened into town.
His aim was to shoot fat Irving down.
Bad Max said, "Draw, and draw right now!"
And Irving drew, drew a picture of a cow.

Irving.
Big, fat Irving.
Big gunfighter Irving.
The hundred and forty-second fastest gun in the West.
----------------

The James Boys was comin' on a train at first sun,
And the town said, "Irving, we need your gun."
When that train pulled in at the break of dawn,
Irving's gun was there, but Irving was gone.

Irving.
Big, fat Irving.
Big help, Irving.
The hundred and forty-second fastest gun in the West.

Well, finally Irving got three slugs in the belly.
It was right outside the Frontier Deli.
He was sittin' there twirlin' his gun around,
And butterfingers Irving gunned himself down!

Irving.
Big, fat Irving.
Big dum-dum Irving.
Big dum-dum dead Irving.
The hundred and forty-second fastest gun in the West.
Really.

Grin Grin
Back to top
 
  

"When Fascism comes to America, she will be wrapped in the flag and carrying a cross." - Sinclair Lewis
Smiley
View Profile   IP Logged
petax
peacenik
****
Offline




Posts: 1238


sparta
Show the link to this post Re: The Ballad of Irving - 142 Fastest Gun in the
Reply #1 - Jan 22nd, 2008, 10:03pm
 
hillarious... good post  Grin
Back to top
 
  
View Profile   IP Logged
ladybat2
Senior Member
****
Online

Ziotards eat my
dust!


Posts: 405



Show the link to this post Re: The Ballad of Irving - 142 Fastest Gun in the West
Reply #2 - Apr 14th, 2009, 12:06am
 
Grin
ROTFL!!! that was insanely funny!!!!
Back to top
 
  
View Profile   IP Logged
Pages: 1
Send Topic Print